GRrrrrr Scout Moms

I am not sure I truly understand the whole Mom dynamic. I am trying. But Mama Drama is rampant. Everywhere. I am girl scout troop leader something I am simultaneously proud of and freaked out by. It sort of sums up my whole recent life change. High heels do not go well with girl scout troop leader vests. They are polyester. I run after kindergartners and sing songs. Badly and loudly. And horrifying people murmur Oh she was born to do this. Really? This is my life's calling? I thought it was curing cancer, but you know things change and goals change and you have to re imagine your future. Anyhoo. the Moms. They fight. they bicker. they bitch. Ok um I do too. I have found myself toe to toe with a Mom over random shit I think of as "bullying" and bullying is a catastrophe. I mean it can be when it become harassment but one kid being a bitch to my kid? Yeah not so much. I shouldn't equate it to the daily horrors that some children endure. It shouldn't have the same word. But yes I yelled. I don't yell much in my life outside of polyester. I didn't yell in meetings or raise my voice to make my point. But when my kid/cub is involved I am no longer "me" I am more just shy of feral. Holding it together with claw like nails. & that's what is see in other Moms too. Well coiffed in their versions of after school casual but I am still hot gear shifting and jockeying for control. And their cubs are in the room and you are between them and their cub or their cub's needs. Otherwise reasonable people send shitty e-mails and nasty looks over ribbons and crayons. Tribes form and outsiders are shunned left to starve. I am have spent hours this week trying to calm the feral beast moms in my troop. I was so sure I had reached an uneasy truce when I get more flare ups. An e-mail lobbied with crap sent reply all, a nasty comment whispered when I am trying to read a story to 17 cub beasts. I keep trying to get the Moms to recall their inner human and I continue to try. I wonder if their is a fun patch for keeping Moms from blood letting?

peeps

I have no idea how I feel about peeps but I am obsessed with a craft I found on pinterest using them. I love marshmallows, but peeps are not truly a marshmallow. They are a tortured even more artificial random version really I guess. This really highlights how east of Boulder I am. Peeps must be outlawed in Boulder. They are sugar *ugh* artificial dyes and colors *gasp* and animal bones *yes seriously*. I will take my little balls of fluff and dye and bones and make them into exciting crafts! I will. And you will want them.

Erie is 20 minutes closer to the Midwest than Boulder

So I live about 20 minutes east of Boulder, Colorado. It is the perfect place for me and really represents the kind of person I am and my parenting approach. If you think of Boulder as the hippie capital of the world reeking of patchouli and dispenseries, where gluten is a poison and paper towels are weapons against humanity...well I am a little more towards the Midwest of that whole approach. That said I drink green sludge juice for breakfast, have organic just about everything and consider red food dye the devil.

My youngest daughter is allergic to red food dye #40. We discovered this 48 hours before Halloween when she exploded after eating a red food dye covered candy. She ended up screaming like a lunatic,hiding in a corner and had a red rash all around her mouth. Now she is obsessed with red food dye. She likes to attribute anything to red food dye. She threw a gigantic fit at the park because I wanted her to actually breathe air instead of watch scooby doo in the car, she blamed her epic meltdown on the "red gummy" she ate for breakfast. Um that was a Dr Sears vitamin, from whole foods, no red food dye. But I guess it would be nice to just blame my crankiness on something like a gummy. Can't blame her.

So yeah me. Basically a hippie living in the suburbs who doesn't use drugs and likes paper towels. I like the smell of patchouli and the look of hand made scarves with organic plant dyes.